Live On
by Sweet Little Dark Angel
Summary: When you lose someone so close to you, it's like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. Come join Hikaru on this emotional roller coaster as he deals with his lost. Maybe he will find love a long the way? Warnings: Death, Yaoi, Self Harm (I apologize for the awful summery.)


**Warning: Yaoi, Death, Cussing, and Self Harm**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club.**

**Note: I'm in college so it will take me a while to update so please be patient with me.**

Ch.1

Hikaru Hitachiin got that life changing call around 5:30 in the morning over the very thing he feared. His brother, Kaoru, was dead and he seemed to have died around two in the morning. Apparently, he had to work overnight and was driving home when a drunk driver was driving on the wrong side of the road and hit Kaoru full on. The driver lived, however, Hikaru's twin did not.

He hadn't seen his brother since high school graduation, because Kaoru moved to England while he stayed in Japan. It was the first time they had ever been separated and they both felt like they should move on with their lives. Due to the fact that Kaoru always wanted to live in England and go to the University of Leicester for marketing while Hikaru wanted to go into fashion design and study at Bunka Fashion College in Tokyo, Japan. Even though they were miles apart, the twins still talked to each other on the phone. That was until _HE _moved in.

Two years ago, Kaoru met some English man while he was in school and fell in love with him. One year later, the two of them got married and were apparently having a good life together. Hikaru didn't know much about the man and he never met him so he didn't know his name. He didn't even go to his own brother's wedding, because he hated the man so much for taking his twin away from him. He hated it how Kaoru was all about his husband and barely called him anymore.

Since Hikaru refused to meet his husband, the brothers stopped talking to each other. Now, Hikaru regretted for not talking to his brother and never calling him. He felt like a total jackass for the way he treated his brother and he felt like he should have been the one to die. "Why Kaoru?" he asked as he broke into a sob. "Why?"

The twenty-two year old cried himself back to sleep. This would probably be the only night that he would ever be able to sleep. For fate had dealt a heavy blow onto his heart and he doubt he would ever be alive again.

_Two Weeks Later…_

Hikaru was dressed in a nice black suit and was heading towards the funeral home. Kaoru's viewing was at three while his actual burial was at six. Even though he was trying to keep calm, his pain just kept surfacing until the point he started shaking. He kept wishing it to be a dream or that this was a joke, but it seems not to be the case.

Once he pulled up to the funeral home, he found a space to park and jump out of the car. He saw Haruhi Suou (Fujioka), Tamaki Suou, Kyoya Ootori, Honey (Mitsukuni) Haninozuka, and Mori (Takashi) Morinozuka waiting for him at the front of the funeral home. The whole gang was back together, but there was just one person missing and that was his twin.

Just like what he did with his twin, he cut all ties with his old friends, because he felt as if he was left behind. He knew now that was selfish of him, but he was considered a selfish person anyways. The only thing he knows about his old friends now was that Haruhi and Tamaki are married and had a little girl, Kyoya gained his right as head of the house hold and is dating a very rich doctor, and Honey and Mori were masters at some where.

He slowly walked over to them and gave them a fake smile. "Hey guys." He said softly.

"Hey Hikaru, how have you been feeling?" Honey asked him in his sweet little voice. It seems that he still looks like a little kid after these few past years. "Will you be ok?"

"I'm fine, Honey." Hikaru lied through his teeth. He didn't want anyone to see how he really felt, but like always, Haruhi saw right through his mask. She did, however, kept her mouth shut which he was glad about. "Why are you guys standing out here for?"

"We decided to wait out here for you, even though we are sweating in our expensive nice clothes." Kyoya grumbled. "Do you know how much this suit costs?"

"Kyoya, be nicer to Hikaru. He did after all lose his twin." Tamaki said. "If I ever lose my twin, I would feel has if the whole world would be crashing upon me. Unless, I had my darling Haruhi was there by my side than I would feel like the would wasn't crashing on me. Right, my darling wife?"

"Tamaki, grow up." Haruhi said which made Tamaki go in the corner and start growing mushrooms. "Stop growing mushrooms in the corner! It took me months to clean out the last time you grew mushrooms."

While everyone was distracted, Hikaru got a way from them as fast as he could. He went inside the funeral home and saw it to be very crowded. He made his way through the people and thanked them for their condolences before he finally reach his twin's casket. He was glad it was open, but at the same time he wasn't. Kaoru looked pale white and his face was so sunk in that he almost made him vomit. However, he controlled his emotions and put a cold mask on before he reached and touch his hand gently. His hand was cold as ice and it brought tears to his eyes, but he wiped them away quickly.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a green hat that they used to play Which one is Hikaru Game when they were in high school. He lifted Kaoru's hands up gently before placing the hat on his stomach and placing the hands on top of the hat. "Keep this safe so that way when I get to Heaven, we can play Which one is Hikaru Game." He whispered gently before placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

He pulled away when he saw his crying mother run over to him and hug him. He held her closely into his arms as he let her cried into his chest. He didn't want to see his mother like this, but it couldn't be helped. He finally let go of her and took a step back and gave her a gentle smile. "It's good to see you mother." He said gently.

"It's good to see you, too." She said as she wiped her tears. "God, you and Kaoru look so much a like. When you first walked in, I thought it was Kaoru's ghost here to attend his own funeral so did everyone else. However, than we all thought we were being silly after we saw which way your hair was parted. That's when we knew that it was you not Kaoru."

He winced at that and felt his heart sank. For the rest of his life and for as long as he could remember, people always mistaken Kaoru for Hikaru and Hikaru for Kaoru. They were used to it, however, he wasn't sure if he was ok with it anymore. He didn't want to get people excited when they think Kaoru was a live, but when it was actually him. He wondered how long will he be able to take people looking at him with sadness. He felt unwanted there and he wanted to leave, but he couldn't. He needed to be here for his friends and family. "Is father here?" he asked changing the subject.

"No, he couldn't make it, but he will be here at six." She said.

"Well, that's good." He said gently.

"Oh, I want you to meet someone."

"Who is it?"

Instead of responding to his question, she grabbed his hand. She led him through the crowd and took him over to a small sitting area. There sat the most beautiful man that he ever seen in his life. The man had long, brown chocolate hair that reached below his shoulder. When the man's eyes looked over at Hikaru's direction, he was surprised how the man's eyes were deep shade of blue that resembled the sea. When the man stood up, he looked to be about 6 foot and five inches tall and this man was well fit with muscles showing under his nice white shirt. What Hikaru found nice was the fact he wasn't too muscular or too buff. He was just the right kind of mix and he had this strange feeling that he wanted to lick every muscle on that man's sun kissed body.

Once the man stood in front of him, he felt his knees better to shake. Power seemed to run off of the man and into him. He never felt attraction to a man before so this was strange a new to him. "Who are you?" he asked in a husky voice.

"My name is Larkin Dryden…" the man said in a deep voice. "…and I am the husband of your brother that you refused to meet."

_Oh fuck me…_

**Ok, so please don't kill me that I killed Kaoru off. I thought it was better than having Hikaru having affair behind his back. Anyways, I might have to change this rating to M, but I'm not quite sure yet. This is my first Ouran High School Host Club Fanfiction so please no flames. Thanks for reading and for any reviews you might leave. Here's a cookie for you to do with whatever you want. Thanks everyone and have a great day! (:**


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